


If It Placates the Press

by mcschnuggles



Series: Schnugg's Regressuary 2021 [14]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, CGRE - Caregiver/Age Regressor, Caregiver!Joey, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Regressing!Kaiba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29434728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcschnuggles/pseuds/mcschnuggles
Summary: Kaiba and Joey have fake dating for a few weeks now.
Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler & Kaiba Seto
Series: Schnugg's Regressuary 2021 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138382
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Regressuary, Regressuary 2021





	If It Placates the Press

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't intentionally set the fake dating AU to come out on Valentine's Day but god does it amuse me that I did

Seto Kaiba doesn’t date.

At least, not really. If you were to ask the media, he definitely did and they had the pictures of him and his boyfriend to prove it, but it’s safer for them to think they know about his love life and be wrong than to endlessly speculate.

Wheeler wasn’t a hard sell. All he wanted was dinner once a week on Kaiba’s dime as well as free reign to tease Kaiba and he was on board.

Joey sits sprawled on the couch, scrolling through his phone. Sometimes he just drops in unannounced, and it’s not like Kaiba can ask security to bar his boyfriend from entering the building. That’s a media scandal waiting to happen, a media scandal Kaiba can’t afford to cause.

…Besides, it’s not like he _hates_ Wheeler’s company, and usually he’s just dropping by for the free wi-fi so he can get caught up on homework. For whatever reason, he respects Kaiba’s workspace.

Plus, it’s good publicity. Makes things seem less staged when Wheeler is popping in and out unannounced. That’s the main reason Kaiba doesn’t mind these visits.

Joey glances up, his face cracking into a smile when he sees Kaiba staring at him. “Hey, you wanna hear about my favorite journalist?”

Kaiba glances back at his computer screen, noting how the most important thing on his plate is scheduling a meeting guaranteed to last at least two hours, and promptly looks back to Joey, which Joey takes as confirmation.

“Janine Caputo calls me ‘a welcome ray of sunlight in every sour-faced photo op.’ Ain’t that the sweetest?”

“You’re not getting a company card,” Kaiba immediately retorts. It’s no secret that Joey’s good for photo ops too. He can just switch on that grin of his like it’s no problem.

Joey holds his hands up in mock-defense. “Wasn’t aiming for one. Besides, I think it’s more romantic when you buy things for me.”

Kaiba glares before shifting his gaze back to his computer screen. It’s a little past five, meaning that Kaiba should probably call it quits soon. One of the big things he and Joey talked about in their cover story was cutting down on work time, and while Kaiba can’t completely unplug, it looks better for all of them if he’s out of the office before the sun sets. 

“So how are ya feeling?” Joey asks once the silence has gone on too long, which by Kaiba’s standards isn’t very long at all.

“Fine,” Kaiba says dismissively. So _that’s_ what Wheeler came here for.

Joey tilts his head, and Kaiba glares at his computer screen to avoid eye contact. “Sure about that?”

Kaiba opens a new Word doc just so he can angrily type nonsense and pretends like he’s busy. “Don’t push it.”

“Okay, so then you’re looking all pouty for nothing?” He’s getting at something. He’s getting at something and Kaiba _hates_ knowing what’s coming.

“Spit it out, Wheeler.”

“Do you need to regress?”

Kaiba flinches. As much as he wanted to push Wheeler, he doesn’t have half the courage Joey does when it comes to this regression stuff. Then again, it’s probably easier when you’re the caregiver, when you’re fulfilled by having someone to look out for, instead of the person who needs to be utterly dependent on another to lift the weight off his chest. Still, saying it _out loud_ , it something that brings a grimace to Kaiba’s face.

The hardest part has been admitting to himself that he needs to regress. Even though Joey agreed to be his fake boyfriend just so he could look after Seto, it doesn’t feel like something that should be said out loud.

With a sigh, Joey pushes himself up into a sitting position, setting his laptop on the opposite end of the couch, and next thing Kaiba knows, Joey’s arms are around his neck.

It’s a comfy, casual touch, and anyone who happened to walk in wouldn’t think anything of it, but Joey can feel how tense Kaiba goes under these touches. Kaiba doesn’t mind the touch—more often that not, Joey even _apologizes_ —but Joey still likes to think he’ll get Kaiba used to casual touch with enough exposure.

Kaiba doesn’t say anything. He’s not even sure what he’d say if given the chance. It’s a surefire sign that he’s already dangerously close to dropping when words fail him completely, and Joey knows this just as well as he does.

“I think you do,” Joey continues. He rubs at Seto’s shoulder, working out a week’s worth of tension in a single fluid motion.

Seto relaxes into the touch, which is still tense as hell by any normal person’s standards, but he counts it as progress.

“Yeah?” Joey’s voice is soft, calming. Seto doesn’t think anyone’s ever talked to him so gently—at least not anyone that he can remember. If he wasn’t slipping already, that would’ve done the trick.

Seto leans back in his chair, away from the big screens and the nonstop flow of emails. Just the look of it is completely overwhelming.

Joey leans forward, giving Seto a little smile, and he’s reminded all over again how lucky he is Joey said yes to this whole fake dating schtick.

That way when Joey jokingly bosses him around, telling him to eat or go to bed or calling him cute, the explanation is already built in. _Why_ he cares enough about Seto to even bother, Seto will never understand, but he doesn’t think he has to.

“Alright, I think that’s enough screen time for the day, don’t you?”

Seto nods, knowing that for the rest of the night, Joey will have his phone on Do Not Disturb. Tiny Seto doesn’t have to worry about his bigger self’s problems, and that’s a promise when it comes to Joey. Seto’s even caught Joey fielding his calls before, which is pretty amazing coming from a guy with phone anxiety and no business experience.

“Good.” Joey reaches over his shoulder, closing out of browser windows and programs with reckless abandon. Maybe if Seto were bigger, he’d find something there important enough to save, but instead, he can only watch as every little stressor blinks out of existence. “Ya wanna be carried?”

Joey still isn’t strong enough to lift Kaiba, but boy does he try. Seto doesn’t blame him—he knows it must be hard to carry nearly six feet of lanky, condensed stress—but he also appreciates the effort.

He wraps his arms around Joey’s neck, hiding his face in the collar of Joey’s jacket. This will inevitably end with the both of them on the floor, Joey with a pulled muscle, most likely, but he can’t bring himself to care.

It’s about the rituals, the specific steps with the specific outcomes, that put Seto’s mind most at ease.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> mcschnuggles.tumblr.com


End file.
